{"id":4809,"date":"2022-12-09T07:41:42","date_gmt":"2022-12-09T07:41:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/?p=4809"},"modified":"2022-12-14T07:28:14","modified_gmt":"2022-12-14T07:28:14","slug":"3-ways-to-maintain-your-marriage-even-with-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/3-ways-to-maintain-your-marriage-even-with-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"3 ways to maintain your marriage even with kids"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Bernice Gan <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us parents spend time and effort to learn how to be better parents. We read parenting books, attend parenting talks and join parenting groups to find out how we can give our best for our children. But do we also make it a priority to invest in the relationship with our spouse? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A strong marriage is the basis of a happy and stable environment for children to grow up in. Having a loving home and family which nurtures and inculcates positive values in children can support their well-being growing up. How can we nurture our marital relationship in order to build strong family relationships?   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) Make time for one another<\/strong>  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Photo by Unsplash \/ Andrew Wise<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

There is a saying that goes \u201cLove is spelt T-I-M-E\u201d. While we often talk about spending quality time with our children, it is also important to set aside quality time to spend with our spouse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you have time set aside daily, weekly and annually to spend together? Do you have a daily \u201ccouch time\u201d when you catch up on each other\u2019s day? \u201cCouch time\u201d need not necessarily be sitting on a couch; it can take the form of taking an evening walk together or relaxing over a cup of coffee or tea after dinner <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After marriage, it is important to continue to date one another, even more so when children come along. When daddy and mummy are happy in their relationship, they can then build a happy environment for the children to grow up in.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take time to celebrate special occasions such as birthdays and wedding anniversaries together. Date nights may take a bit of planning, especially when you have young kids, but it is well worth the effort to strengthen your marriage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When my children were younger, they would ask me on my weekly date night if I really needed to go out with daddy and I would reply that it is for their good that daddy and I spent time together! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While spending quality time is important, communication is also crucial.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) Speak each other\u2019s love language<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Photo by Unsplash \/ Hannah Busing<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In Gary Chapman\u2019s \u201cThe Five Love Languages\u201d, he mentions 5 different ways of giving and receiving love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time & Physical Touch.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you know your own and your spouse\u2019s love language? If not, take this quiz<\/a> to find out.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often show love in our own love language, for example, a person whose love language is \u201cwords of affirmation\u201d will speak encouraging words. However, if his or her spouse\u2019s love language is \u201cacts of service\u201d, they will think that actions speak louder than words! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try these expressions of love on birthdays, anniversaries or any other ordinary day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 If your spouse\u2019s love language is \u201cwords of affirmation\u201d, pen a card to show your appreciation for who your spouse is and what they have done for you and the family. If it is \u201cacts of service\u201d, whip up a meal or help with a household chore that your spouse dislikes doing. If your spouse enjoys \u201creceiving gifts\u201d, give a thoughtful present \u2013 it doesn\u2019t have to be expensive!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carve time out of your schedules to spend together and have meaningful conversations when spending time, if your spouse appreciates \u201cquality time\u201d. And for those who like \u201cphysical touch\u201d, hold hands, hug or give a massage.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Find out what expressions of love are meaningful to them. For example, my husband\u2019s love language is \u201cquality time\u201d, but it is a lot more than simply spending time together. To him, it is being \u201cconnected\u201d \u2013 listening to each other and being understood, as well as exchanging ideas on topics he is passionate about. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we show love in a way that our partner feels loved, they will appreciate it a lot more. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) Listen to one another<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Photo by Unsplash \/ Khamk\u00e9o Vilaysing<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Listening takes effort. We need to give full attention by listening with our body (giving eye contact and nodding) and most importantly, listening with our heart (showing empathy and withholding judgement). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes we may interrupt or jump in to give advice or reassurance too quickly before the other party has a chance to process their feelings. Sometimes we may go off on a tangent by recounting history and letting past hurts cloud the present situation. Other times, we may interpret what is said as a personal attack when the other party is simply trying to express what they are feeling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Good effective listening involves putting ourselves in our partner\u2019s shoes and acknowledging their feelings. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

We can do so by reflecting back what they have expressed, for example, saying, \u201cI hear that you are disappointed about this situation…\u201d This ensures that you have understood them correctly, helping them to feel that they have been heard.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Active listening also involves asking relevant follow-up questions to allow the other party to explain why they feel upset, which will enable us to understand them more clearly. When we allow each other to talk and give each other the gift of listening, we will communicate better and build a stronger relationship.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After all, marriage is a journey of getting to know your spouse better and being there for one another through the good and bad times. When we invest in our marriage, we also allow our children to grow up within a loving environment.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reflect:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. What expressions of love are meaningful to your spouse? <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. What\u2019s one thing from this article that you can commit to in the next week? Share it with your spouse so you can keep each other accountable!  <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"For better or worse, in sickness and in health\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4814,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"csco_singular_sidebar":"","csco_page_header_type":"","csco_page_load_nextpost":"","csco_post_video_location":[],"csco_post_video_url":"","csco_post_video_bg_start_time":0,"csco_post_video_bg_end_time":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[46,64,66,65,63],"class_list":{"0":"post-4809","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-parenting","8":"tag-children","9":"tag-christian","10":"tag-family","11":"tag-love-language","12":"tag-marriage","13":"cs-entry","14":"cs-video-wrap"},"yoast_head":"\n3 ways to maintain your marriage even with kids - Our Learning Journey<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/3-ways-to-maintain-your-marriage-even-with-kids\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"3 ways to maintain your marriage even with kids\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"For better or worse, in sickness and in health\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/3-ways-to-maintain-your-marriage-even-with-kids\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Our Learning Journey\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-12-09T07:41:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-12-14T07:28:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/drew-hays-7tGqLzHcjZ8-unsplash-scaled-e1670571553388.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"900\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"APS\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"3 ways to maintain your marriage even with kids\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"For better or worse, in sickness and in health\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image\" content=\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/drew-hays-7tGqLzHcjZ8-unsplash-scaled-e1670571553388.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"APS\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/3-ways-to-maintain-your-marriage-even-with-kids\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/3-ways-to-maintain-your-marriage-even-with-kids\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"APS\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/#\/schema\/person\/0da400b840c113b662e54f0af18b0267\"},\"headline\":\"3 ways to maintain your marriage even with kids\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-12-09T07:41:42+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-12-14T07:28:14+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/3-ways-to-maintain-your-marriage-even-with-kids\/\"},\"wordCount\":984,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"children\",\"Christian\",\"Family\",\"Love language\",\"Marriage\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Parenting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/3-ways-to-maintain-your-marriage-even-with-kids\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/3-ways-to-maintain-your-marriage-even-with-kids\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/ourlearningjourney.sg\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/3-ways-to-maintain-your-marriage-even-with-kids\/\",\"name\":\"3 ways to maintain your marriage even with kids - 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