What is love?

By Bernice Gan, Alice Lock & Hannah Tang Peled

What is love? 

Is it a feeling or a choice? 

When we think of love, we think of movies like Titanic and The Notebook. We think of our family and loved ones. 

But we have a greater love by a God who lay down his life for us. He has demonstrated this love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom 5:8).  

And because God first loved us, we can extend this love to others in our daily lives (1 John 4:19).  

When we find it difficult to love the people around us, we can look at 1 Corinthians 13 as a starting point – a passage that describes less about what love is and more about what love does. More than just a feeling or emotion, love is an action. 

Love is patient, love is kind 

Patient love is persistent love. It is the kind of love a wife or husband has for their spouse, or even the kind of love we have in our community, where we serve and walk alongside each other.  Patient love means choosing to be faithful and committed to each other and to love the other person even when we don’t feel like it or it isn’t easy.  

Our source of love is God, whose love, mercies and compassion never cease (Lam 3: 22-23). With His love flowing in our hearts, we can be a community where we speak and act with kindness and compassion to one another and extend forgiveness freely the way God in Christ has forgiven us. (Eph 4: 32). 

Love is not jealous or envious 

There are two forms of jealousy: a legitimate form based upon love and an unacceptable form based upon envy. In the bible, God is described as a jealous God (Deut 4:24). His righteous jealousy is based upon His deep love for us. He deeply longs for us to put Him first in our heart and worship Him only. 

The jealousy mentioned in 1 Cor 13:4 is one that is rooted in selfishness. Do you feel bitter when your co-workers do better than you at work? Do you feel hatred when your friends are more well-liked and popular than you? Are you resentful because your siblings are more successful than you? 

Jealousy is a common struggle. If we are not careful, jealousy can poison our mind and prevent us from leading an abundant life God has intended for us.

The way to put jealously at bay is to love, because love puts others first and is not selfish. When we let love push out our bitterness, hatred and resentment, we can draw closer to the people around us and receive God’s love and peace in our heart. 

Love does not parade itself 

Love recognizes that God made each person unique. It does not put self in the center. Pride, in contrast, keeps us from engaging others as equals. 

Jesus demonstrated this meekness in that He “made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men.” (Philippians 2:7) He taught his disciples not to lord over others (Luke 22:25-26). “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6) 

Let us find joy in imitating Christ’s meekness and learn to affirm the gifts in others. Let us esteem one another as we work together as one Body. 

Love is not rude or self-seeking 

Selfless love means that we do not think of ourselves as better than others. At the same time, we do not ignore another’s needs in pursuit of our own objectives and happiness. In other words, love means taking seriously the other person’s needs, joys, hopes & aspirations and putting them before ours.  

Jesus showed us the way to love selflessly by laying down His life for us. In response to Christ’s love, we cannot but imitate Him – doing nothing out of selfish ambition, but in humility, valuing others above ourselves, looking not to our own interests, but to the interests of others (Phil 2: 1-11).