5 steps to teach our children to set goals

By Dianne Seet 

Dear Parents, 

How are you feeling now that 2023 has started? Are you worried about how your child might cope as they move to a new class, or hopeful for a fresh start and new opportunities for them to learn? 

As you plan ahead for yourself and your family in 2023, consider teaching your children how to set goals. Author Tony Robbins once said: “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” 

Setting goals boosts children’s confidence, increases their ability to build healthy relationships with others, and helps them adapt to new environments and rising expectations.  

As parents, we are our child’s first teachers. We want our children to succeed in life. We want them to be effective problem-solvers. We want them to set goals and achieve them. 

Children are naturally great goal-setters so that’s the easy part. As their first teachers, we can nurture our children to have fun in the process of setting goals while giving them a sense of focus and motivation. The idea is to kickstart the mindset of taking action in order to achieve results. 

Here are five ways for your child to achieve success by setting goals:  

1. Identify a goal 

Discuss with your child their dreams and aspirations – no matter how big or small. Then, help your child select one or two goals that they want to focus on. The goal should be realistic and within your child’s ability. If not, help your child choose another goal. Then, frame it by writing it down.   

For example: 

• “I will wake up by 7am and brush my teeth on school days.”  
• “I will prepare my shoes, bag and uniform by 9pm the night before school day.”
• “I will finish my meal without any electronic devices.” 

2. Take small steps and establish a realistic time frame  

While keeping goals at the front of thought and conversation, help your child think about some ways that their goals can be met. Break the goal into small steps or help them figure out strategies and then work on them, celebrating each milestone along the way. 

For example: 

• “I will set the alarm the night before OR sleep by 9pm so that I can wake up by 7am.” 
• “I will remember where to place my shoes, bag and uniform.” 
• “I will finish my meal quickly so that I can use the device after my meal.”  

For younger children, goals should be kept simple and easy to achieve. Once they understand goal setting and have experienced the positive results of reaching their goals, they will be eager to set more difficult goals. Some children need to set even shorter-term goals such as: 

• “I will read a page of a book a night” 
• “I will pick up my toys when I finish playing” 
• “I will make my bed without reminders” 

Once this list is complete, pray with your child for courage and strength to persevere and achieve the goals so that they can do better than the day before. 

3. Create a plan of accountability 

Next, help your child think through the steps to succeed, including the order of how they will finish each task in order to achieve the goal. It helps to write each task on sticky notes and paste them together – have them tear off a note as each task is completed until none remain. 

4. Track goal progress and celebrate success 

One helpful tip to track goal progress is to hang your child’s goals on a wall to remind them of it daily. Point out their efforts to motivate them to keep trying. Encourage them by saying: “Look how much closer you’re getting to your goal!”  

Don’t forget to celebrate small successes along the way. As Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”. Taking the first step is the most important. 

5. Be an active role model  

Lastly, talk about your goals. Setting goals provides a good opportunity for you to share your thoughts and feelings with your children. Tell them about goals you had when you were younger and how they changed as you grew older. Share how you felt when you did not reach certain goals, and how you overcame obstacles to achieve them. 

Your child may not always achieve their goals. However, the process of goal setting can be a good learning opportunity to teach your child about resilience as they continue to work towards the goal. As they see their progress, they will also learn that failure is simply a stepping stone to success and that it takes hard work to succeed.  

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

Proverbs 22:6

Proverbs 22:6 reminds us that God has given us parents the authority in the home to carry out His good purpose in growing our children into their God-given identity. How are we showing wisdom in our words and grace in our gestures as we nurture and guide them in Christ? 

To find out more about our preschools and curriculum, visit https://www.anglicanps.edu.sg.